Being Understood Starts with Understanding

Being Understood (2)

“I just don’t understand why they don’t listen to me!”  Have you ever had that thought? Do you have employees?  Do you network?  Do you go to meetings?  Do you feel as though nobody listens to you?

The fact is that people do not listen and understand you because you are not listening to them.  You talk, explain, analyze, preach, propose, and offer advice and instruction.  The reason that they do not listen and understand is because you have not listened and understood them.  You will understand them only when you listen to them. Understanding them leads to you being understood.

First, ask an open-ended question (Who, What, When, Where, and Why).  Then, be present.  Be engaged.  Quietly listen.  Then ask another question.  Feel where they are.  See how they see you.  Then ask another question.  Listen for a long time, without offering your wisdom or giving solutions.  Just listen and UNDERSTAND.  After truly understand them will you be truly understood yourself.

When you truly respect and listen, and understand another human being, it opens the possibility for a real conversation.  What they understand is that you care and that you truly understand and respect them.  They might even ask you a question, and seek to understand you.  Now wouldn’t that be an interesting response, that they want to listen to you?

If you are ready to be heard.  If you have something valuable to share.  If YOU want to be understood, you have you start with understanding!

by PJ Weiland, ActionCOACH

PJ's PicActionCOACH transparent


CHOOSE to show up 100%


By Action Coach PJ Weiland

Have you ever felt like you are just going through the motions?  Ever wonder if you could have a satisfying professional life?  Trying to figure out how you’re going to get through an upcoming event?

You’re concerned about your business.  You’re apprehensive, fearful, and unhappy. You’re bored. Sound like YOU?

If you are human, you have probably felt like this at one time or another.  Perhaps you feel like this right now.  Do you ride it out or throw in the towel and quit?  Are you up to trying something different?

I want you to try this:  It’s not easy, but it’s simple.  You will have to CHOOSE to show up and participate 100%, no matter the task or the event.  You will learn how to get “from” a situation by full participation, not just get “through” it.  It’s about giving your all (not coasting by).  It’s about understanding that you are a verb (not a noun). It’s about being the professional you choose to be, no matter where you are or what you are doing.

Who creates your happiness?  YOU
Who creates your fulfillment?  YOU
Who creates your satisfaction?  YOU

You create these by CHOOSING to be happy, fulfilled, and satisfied.

Think about it.  You are going to a networking luncheon.  You are going to take a course. You are going to meet a client.  You are going to an important event.  Since you are going to do it anyway…then CHOOSE to show up 100%.  Show up full of gratitude and joy, and create a way to make it a great experience!

Choose who YOU want to be, and be that person.  It’s amazing how it will make you feel and what will happen.  Are you smiling because you are happy, or happy because you are smiling?  Are you full of gratitude because you have so much of it, or are you rich with blessings because you are thankful?  Are you kind because you feel loved, or do you feel loved when you CHOOSE to be kind?

CHOOSE to BE what you want to see, and watch it come to pass!  You are headed for an amazing experience!


– See more:

If you are in the Chicago area, consider taking one of PJ’s workshops, 6 Steps to a Great Business, coming up on 2/19 and 3/4.